The Lockdown Blues

It's finally hit home.

I've had several months of hearing how friends, family and clients are struggling with lockdown, the pandemic, working from home and dealing with children, spouses, housemates. To be honest, I just didn't really feel that bothered. In fact, I was quite enjoying being able to get more done, to have more meetings without the hassle of travelling yet not feel exhausted all of the time and being able to 'socialise' a lot more without the worry of spending too much.

Until now.

Last week was a tough week for me. And I realise I come across as a ridiculously positive optimist most of the time, however, last week I couldn't shake this despondent feeling. The best way I can describe it is having a heavy mind.

I had no motivation to jump up and exercise first thing, I forced myself to do so (bad idea) and to meditate (good idea) My work productivity plummeted (hence no blogs and limited social media)

Yet I was loving my coaching sessions with my clients and gaining new ones who I am so thrilled to be working with.

So what was wrong?

This is when I wish I had studied psychology instead of drama! However, I have a theory and it is that I am missing my tribes and their touch. I am very fortunate to have incredible friends in all areas of my life and as much as video calls and gifs are great I miss hugging them, spontaneously laughing at nothing with them, arguing where we are going to have a drink for 20 minutes and then just going to the usual pub on the corner.

Everyone is dealing with this situation in their own way and for me the lack of physical human contact (otherwise known as Skin Hunger) is what I am trying to deal with.

Although I don't have the answers to this or to many other issues people come to me with, knowing that we this is a 'thing' has helped, as has doing things for me such as non-screen days where I have only read books, managing to teach my folks how to FaceTime so we can see each other and just sitting in the early morning sun with coffee doing next to nothing.

Having these 'me-moments' has allowed me to re-think my approach to life in a way I've always wanted to but felt I couldn't. I am now much more focused on enjoying moments throughout the day rather than obsessed with getting my 'to-do' list done (don't worry - it is still there) It's still a struggle to not automatically start doing everything and yes I still fee guilty at the end of the day if it hasn't been a 'productive one' but - and it is a small but - I am able to see how much these pauses are benefiting me and how happier I am feeling.

A bit of a personal post this one and I hope it helps anyone who is feeling similar - we don't always need to have the answers or the way forward, just realising how we are feeling is often enough.

Sending you all big love - stay happy, healthy, safe & sane x

My Lockdown Blues - Kate Bishop shares her down days